This is for anyone who has a loved one with Autism, and especially for all the ones whom we love with Autism. My children overwhelm even myself with their capacity for love and expectance in others. If I have achieved nothing else in my life, I would be a happy woman. This is the one aspect of my life, that I am most proud of. My only hope is that this will always stay with them, despite life’s turbulence.
I generally don’t tell people that they have Aspergers at first, unless they ask. Mainly, because I don’t the anyone to treat them different or think they are incapable of anything just because they have Aspergers. Reality is, someone always makes a comment about their behavior or lack of eye contact. And I then tell them. The boys just started Kung Fu. On the second day of Kung Fu, Gabe proudly announces he and his brother, Zeke, has Aspergers. I’ve never hid it from the boys, we are involved with the Autism Community here in Va Beach, and most of their closest friends are on the spectrum too. They know they have Aspergers Syndrome, but I’m not totally sure what it means to them.
Today were driving in the van to yet another doctors apt. I figured this what a good time to have this conversation with them. What they had to say, made my heart soar and brought tears to my eyes. It is the moments, that I know I am doing things right despite all that we’ve endured.
Me: “So Gabe, you told the teacher you have Aspergers. What does Aspergers mean to you?”
Gabe:” I donno”
Me:”Well… you know a thing or two about it. How do you feel about all your friends who have Aspergers”
Gabe: “They are always the nicest and the smartest kids I know. They are builders and inventors”
Me: “Is it a compliment or a put down when you think of the word Aspergers”
Gabe: “of course it’s a compliment… who wouldn’t want friends with Aspergers”
Me: “What do you think about your friends who are non-verbal”
Gabe: “Mom… don’t you know they are the most nice of all”
Me:”yeh… they are aren’t they”
Me: “So Zeke, what are your thoughts?”
Zeke: “I agree… they are too smart and too nice”
Me: “And the kids who are non-verbal”
Zeke: “They are thoughtful… nothing is wrong with them, they are just thinking”
Me “You were non-verbal for awhile… do you remember any part of it.”
Zeke: “I know… but I was thinking.. that’s how I know they are thinking”
Me: “What were you thinking about?”
Zeke: “I don’t remember… but I know it was important”