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My Other-Significant Other

My Other-Significant Other

polyamory8This has been about 4 yrs in the making, but only the last 6months has it become established as a relationship.  Four years ago, I met this random guy on FB.  You know how that goes. Every so often we’d chat and visit.  It was pretty great, because he had no expectations from me or I from him. He was just another friend I had made on social media.   Fast forward a few years. One day I randomly told him I really liked him, and the conversation just spiraled from there. We both had feelings for each other but neither of us spoke up about it.

He was in NC on his way to CA, and I honestly thought, “Man I will never meet this great guy face to face.” And just days before he left, we decided what the hell lets do drinks.    Like, my hubby, it was love at first sight.  Maybe having those years invested as friend helped that along. Well it was shocking for both of us. Not just the physical attraction but how easy it was for us to laugh & cry together.

Coming back home was the hardest.  He seemed to fit into this obscure puzzle of mine. That one last piece I had been missing and searching for,  not knowing that I had been searching for this whole time. In a way, he had been searching for me too. We were always so close yet to far away.  I guess you could call us kindred spirits.  As I was leaving,  I felt I had left a piece of myself behind.  In fact neither us wanted to.  In that  last moment, I thought we would never see each other again. And yes, I cried my eyes out on the way home.

Then it hit me, I had to tell Ian, that I love this man.   Granted we’ve had relationships out side of our marriage before. But nothing like this.  I  have only felt this deeply for my husband and two other people in my life.  Jesus-Christ-On-A-Crutch! Explaining these feelings wasn’t easy.  My husband & I spent quite a bit of time talking about our feeling for each other, this new guy, and all the weird scenarios on how this was going to effect  our life.

Then unbeknown to the three of us, 2 months later, my O-SO, moves in with our family.  No. It hasn’t been easy.   Yes, there has been tension. We’ve had to adjust to each other quite a bit. On the other hand, he has brought a lot of joy to our home and in a lot of ways balance.  None of us,  was expecting any of this. I knew that my hubby would love his sense of humor, but I never expected them to get a long so well.   Their friendship was even shocking to me.  Watching them banter back in forth is not amusing, but so endearing. They actually care for each other.

Now that my O-SO is here.  I can’t imagine him not being apart of my life. A bit of me regrets not taking the time to meet him sooner when he was local  ans before he moved away.  Perhaps it’s his easy laughter and zeal for life,  yet his heart ache and his willingness to let me see that side of him, that reminds me of my self.  He is so familiar to me, like a brother, that I had not , had a chance to grow up with.  I am convinced had we grown up together, we would have been the best of friends and that is why I love him so.

Telling our kids  was our first hurdle. We all had a lot of fears. How will effect the boys? Are they too young? Are we subjecting them to a life which they will have to hide or explain the action of us adult? What will our friends, family, & neighbors think? Will they suffer judgment? Really it was quite emotional and continues to be so.  When the time came, my boys were beyond amazing.  We were planning to keep it under wraps until the kids were a little older. But my youngest, Zeke, one morning looks at me and said, “I know why you love him so much….because he is your best friend just like daddy.”  It hit us that wow, these kids can see through us even if we were trying to hold back our affection for each other in front of them.  Their response was breathtaking when we told them. The boys both that similar remarks, “awwww we’re happy that he loves you. We love him too.”  or  ”We know he’s your best friend like daddy is.”  It dawned on me that I have been teaching my children; that they can love whomever they want to. I never had that specific conversation with them. It was heart warming, that my children will grow up having  a deeper understanding & acceptance than I ever did or ever intended for them.

The next stage has been telling family & friends. It’s not something any of us can hide. My O-SO is always around and has become just as an important  part of my life and to our boys, just as much as their father.  Telling everyone that we are poly and we all live together, well… lets just say it isn’t easy. It never is, when you are willing to go against the grain of society.  Our close friends know and they have been our biggest support. To them, I am in constant amazement. We’ve lost friends because of it. To them, I figure it’s probably best, because I refuse to be less then my genuine self.  Most of our family members, “know,”  but we have many more people we need to have that conversation with.  I am looking forward to the day when we don’t have to explain ourselves, everyone knows and we are seen as the beautiful family that we are.

 

 

 

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I recieved a Versatile Blog Award today

I recieved a Versatile Blog Award today

Thank you AspieSide.com! You really made my morning today. There are so many great blogs out there, I am truly honored that you picked mine as one of them.

As a recipient, I am asked to choose 15 of my recently discovered blogs to pass the award along to, and I must follow some rules. Therefore, if you receive this award from me and you choose to accept it, these rules are for you too…

1. Thank the person who awarded it to you, by linking back to them in your post.

2. Share 7 things about yourself in your blog post.

3. Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs (contact the owners to let them know too!)

So, on to the next part of the Versatile Blogger Award, sharing 7 things about me…

1. I love to craft, cook, paint, and biology. I tend to have too many things going on at once

2. I am in love with the series of books called “The Parasol Protectorate Series” By Gail Carrigar.  One because Gail’s style of writing is so utterly witty, and two because I tend to be as practical as Alexia Tarabotti. In fact, I don’t think I have really ever related to any fictional character before.

3.I am a total foodie.  I can eat something at a restaurant and re-create it at home, which is super awesome. But the on the other side, I am extremely picky when it comes to going out to eat. I’d just rather not eat at all if it’s going to bad and well most things taste bad to me.

4.  The not so fun things about me. I have a pacemaker, hoshimoto’s,  I’m allergic to cats, shellfish, latax, & pork, and I am still afraid of the dark.

5.  I day dream way too much and I tend not to take things too seriously.

6. I really dig the pinup look of the 50′s. So when I go out on the town, it’s all retro baby! Victory rolls, makeup, pencil skirt, heels and all.

7. I love colors. It is actually hard for me to choose bland clothing or bland anything for that matter. I always gravitate to the brightest colors there are in a store.

And the new winners are……

1. GailCarriger.com

2.  Lostandtired.com

3.  Intheclotheset.com

4. Jamieberry.com

5.  Kirstenashley.blogspot.com

6.  Funandfunction.com

7.   Theothersideofnormal.wordpress.com

8.   Swankymama.com

9.   motherofshrek.blogspot.com

10.  autismawakening.wordpress.com

11   scikid3.blogspot.com

12.  onesweetstory.blogspot.com

13.  simplysugarandglutenfree.com

14.  aspieside.com

15.  climbingeverymountain.com

 

Please vote for PolyHobbyMommy.com.  Just click the link. Thanks! :)

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The Silver Diner’s GF Menu

The Silver Diner’s GF Menu

Both our boys never have been able to sit still for a very long periods of time, before they are climbing all over us and sometimes the poor poor people who sit behind us. Thus, we don’t take them out very much.  We know they have Aspergers, ADHD, and all the sensory issues that come with that, we know their threshold is low, and we know most people don’t have the tolerance for our fidgety children.

But the Silver Diner has always been an atmosphere that has been welcoming for the boys. Honestly, we don’t get out there but every 4 months or so. But it has always been  the boys choice. From the friendly staff, to the music that they love to sing and dance to, to the little quarter machine, and the Tuesday Nights Kids Night.  They love being able to craft, walk around, watch a movie and get balloons.

Well even though we love this place. We stopped going because of the lack of GF food. Honestly, we have sworn off all fast foods as well. Over the Fall, we found out that they had  GF menu. It was sooooo exciting to eat GF that wasn’t too bad, enjoy the night out with the kids, and not have crazy little monkeys in the morning.

Gabe was able to eat a Grilled Teriyaki Chicken, rice and salad off the Kids Menu. And Zeke got to eat the GF waffles and Turkey sausage. It was really awesome that I didn’t have to choose from crappy pizza, corn dogs or fries.  It has long been one of my major beefs with restaurants is that the kids menu is nothing but junk food. Frankly I don’t want to pay $10 per kid to eat crap.

Not only did they have GF foods, they  also had  a Vegan menu, and an option to choose from produce that was locally farmed.  So we went from really liking the Silver Diner to Loving it.

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